The correct way to drive in the EU
As we enter the next phase of the European experiment there are still a few unanswered questions regarding uniformity across the Union. For example, we now have bananas that are the right size and shape, and our door handles are all at the same height, but what about the more important regulations, such as acceptable driving behaviour? With vehicles coming and going from Ireland to Lithuania, switching from this side of the road to that, its about time the EU settled the argument: which side of the road should we be driving on?
Of course, the only real answer is the right side. The British drive on the right side of the car, and the left side of the road, which we shall hopefully prove is the right way. We shall also show that mainland Europeans who drive on the left-hand side of the car and the right-hand side of the road are driving the wrong way.
Lets look at the etymology of the word RIGHT.
right (adj.1) “morally correct,” Old English riht “just, good, fair; proper, fitting; straight, not bent, direct, erect,” from Proto-Germanic *rekhtaz (cognates: Old Frisian riucht “right,” Old Saxon reht, Middle Dutch and Dutch recht, Old High German reht, German recht, Old Norse rettr, Gothic raihts), from the (Proto-Indo-European) PIE root *reg- “move in a straight line,” also “to rule, to lead straight, to put right” cognates: Greek orektos “stretched out, upright;” Latin rectus “straight, right;” Old Persian rasta- “straight, right,” aršta- “rectitude;” Old Irish recht “law;” Welsh rhaith, Breton reiz “just, righteous, wise”).
opposite of left,” early 12c., riht, from Old English riht, which did not have this sense but meant “good, proper, fitting, straight”
In opposition to ‘left’ (Latin ‘sinister’) we find the usual PIE root (*dek-) is represented by Latin dexter. Other derivations on a similar pattern to English ‘right’ are French ‘droit’, from Latin directus “straight;” Lithuanian ‘labas’, literally “good;” and Slavic words (Bohemian pravy, Polish prawy, Russian pravyj) from Old Church Slavonic ‘pravu’, literally “straight,” from PIE *pro-, from root *per- (1) “forward, through”
‘Right’ is a homonym, a word with (multiple, but ultimately) two meanings, one being ‘opposite of left’, and the other ‘straight’ or ‘just’. If we look at how many other words in the English language contain the word ‘right’, or derivations of it, we can clearly see the fundamental meaning. For example Upright, righteous and right-minded are simple English phrases based on ‘right’, and from the Latin ‘regere’ – which meant ‘just’, ‘correct’ etc. as well as ‘to rule’ (from the PIE root ‘reg’) – we get the following English words: erect, correct, direct, rector, reign, regal, royal, regulate, register, regular, regiment and region. The same goes for nearly all the other languages in the Proto-Indo-European family, some derivative of the word ‘right’ or its root ‘reg’ means both ‘opposite of left’ and ‘to rule/correct/straight/good’. It’s almost impossible to say something is correct without using a word that has the root ‘reg’ (one only has to read back over this piece to confirm this).
Lets say then that right is correct. Does this mean that driving on the right side of the road is also correct? A ‘No’ would seem to contradict our theory, but we are remember only talking about where you sit in the car. We must also touch on the symbolic nature of the car, and the road it drives on, if we are to draw a satisfactory conclusion regarding the correct side of the road to drive on.
We propose that the Road is a representation of the left-handed, curved, Yin or feminine principle. Unlike the Car (whom we shall also psychoanalyse) a road is passive in the act of driving, and has no moving parts. It lays ahead, stretched wide-open waiting for us to go down it. Road workers lay roads; they are covered with Yin-like broken white lines (unless its the ‘hard shoulder’), they curve and dip, and occasionally are slick and wet, bursting at the drains from the water filling their fallopian pipework. Roundabouts and circular, motherly signs guide and advise you on your journey, pleading with you to drive safely, and only occasionally asking you to ‘give way’.
A car ‘on the other hand’ can quite easily be shown to represent the right-handed, straight-line, Yang or male principle. All moving parts, a car is built on precision engineering and has a forward-pointed aerodynamic shape. Driving a car is about speed and reaction times. They are the spear, and they are the rocket. They are the penis, hard and pointed, thrusting itself into space. Looking under the hood can be equated to pulling back the foreskin, or hood, of the penis. You can be king of the road on that wide-open highway, or you can be Lewis Hamilton in Pole position, with only your helmet visible, racing to the finish line (on a round track of course, the feminine), where, if you are the victor, you can climax champagne. In evolutionary terms, to finish first would be beneficial to the continued survival of your genes. It is an instinct-driven symbol of dominance and can be traced back in Humans tens of thousand, if not hundreds of thousands of years – although in Formula 1 they don’t make the loser eat the soggy biscuit.
Note: The act of entering a car could be said to symbolise re-entering the womb. We feel safe inside a car, strapped in surrounded by air bags, the mirrors showing a twisted, dream-like world, weird but occasionally observable, like the pineal gland third eyes are looking out of the back of the head, passively observing the world disappearing into the distance, everything in reverse.
So, linguistically, symbolically and even genetically there seems to be a good argument to suggest that sitting on the right-hand side of the car, and on the left-hand side of the road is the correct way to drive. Nearly every language in the EU would have to agree, as these languages – going right back to the invention of PIE – agree. You sit on the right side of the car, because its right, for lots of reasons. It therefore represents the male principle, which means you drive on the left hand side of the road, because the road is the female principle. And thus we have balance.
Of course, this is all tongue in cheek, but there is a serious point to make. If we are to live harmoniously in the new Europe, we believe it is important to retain as much of the spirit of our ancestors, and their wisdom, as we can. The example we have chosen to highlight – as well as proving finally that the British way of driving is the correct way – serves more as an examination of ancient wisdom. Still today we have words with histories that lead to the conceptual mind of early humans, which leads to enlightenment, and which in turn gives the seeker a better understanding of the whole – the material, the abstract and the spiritual. A reformation of this ancient knowledge – that is hidden within our languages, our histories, our mythologies and our symbols – is no bad thing, it would give us all a solid ground from which to build on, and a better understanding of who we are, which is essential in understanding each other. But rather, intent on seeing through their experiment and super-imposing a multi-monoculture onto Europe, our Masters are destroying some of the oldest, richest and enlightened cultures on Earth.
The destruction of culture is the destruction of ancient wisdom, as culture is only built on ancient wisdom.
Who knows, if all Europeans did adopt the natural, British style of driving, they might actually drive better? X
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